the window was open, it was a nice day. I didn’t see the day for myself, as I was sick on the couch. but I could hear how nice it was out. the upstairs neighbor was practicing their cello. an apartment across the way was listening to NPR. cars were driving by, people were out for a walk. there was some construction too. I could only be hypnotized by the light.
song: green eyed love (classixx remix) by mayer hawthorne.
I’ve been sick. sore bones, sore muscles, can’t eat, mostly sleep. what a waste of time being sick. viruses infecting my body, keeping me from being able. sometimes I’m torn between being grounded in this body, holding it precious like a sacred temple. the other part wants me to trash it, it ain’t what my existence really is. maybe I’m 60/40, we only get one. if this was 2071, I could be 30/70 with a cyborg part. a body is how others judge us, what’s important. or so it seems. it’s a weird combination. dressing our bodies, caring for them, shaping them, dying, piercing, puncturing them. they’re our own vessel, representing ourselves. we’re our own dolls or sports cars or front lawns. but bodies sure are gross, man. inside and out. infected so easily. full of gross things. so is the mind, but you can’t really see it.
finished cowboy be bop. what gets better than that, I don’t know. besides one piece and ouran high school host club, I mean. I will backlog some entries. most importantly, my permanent!
Two Sundays ago, Devin and I jaunted down to Pike Place Market because I decided I wanted to be more “Seattle-like”. Also, the farmer’s market isn’t up and running till May near my place and I wanted some cheap veggies (and honey sticks). It was such an adventure! I used to go to PP a lot as a kid growing up with my aunt. Then in high school, my best friend at the time and I would go (what felt like) every Sunday and park for an hour (one nearby garage had free parking for an hour, not anymore) and do everything we could (as in buy and eat handmade corn dogs and MINI-DONUTS). These days I’m just shoppin for cheap veggies, like I’m a “Seattle-like” grown up. I still don’t know how to cook though. A cool guy with a cool mustache working at a veggie stand gave Devin and I some free carrots with my squash and also a little cartoon vampire ornament. I don’t know where the latter came from, but I felt I made a new friend.
PIKE PLACE MARKET FUN!
Rachel and I went to Alder Lake for a day a couple weeks ago. I took 3 cameras with me, I just got some medium format pentacon six pics back. some shots were overexposed. the lake was completely dry. we had a picnic by some guys on a dock who weren’t catching any fish. there was no wind, and one cloud was blocking our view of mt. rainier. the stumps were a cool wasteland effect. everything was blue and green with a gradient into a yellow brown. we saw a giant dam, and a tiny town. it was a good day to get out, even just for a little while.
I’ve been moving, but I believe I’m done now. and I mean furniture, not just wiggling around in a chair or something. I found some old journals and books. my scrap notebook (for lists and notes and ideas) had two things on the front inside cover:
A sticky note I found after unpacking read this:
hand counts “this many uses/times” US $20 one time. & plan “sketch” — charcoal (may come off, maybe not) ink it-see what sticks. -plan. AA 11/29
one of the weirdest things I’ve ever written down. I read it 3 times and then remembered what it meant. I was quoting my roommate ashley. the note had key points to remind myself how hard I was laughing during that conversation. not something to look up on the internet.
I decided that I won’t cut my hair short (I wanted to this summer) until I leave for Japan. NEW HAIR PLAN! grow it for the next 10 months and towards the end… pink, platinum and lavender. not all at once, though. you’ll see~!
I also wore a feather headband to work with that green poncho and moccasins with big flared jeans. only two co-workers gave me non-japanese peace signs. my mascara and pink cheeks make me want to attempt a doll-like mori style~!!
I shot some cool things on this roll from my fuji natura, however I dropped it off to be developed at the end of the day inside a fred meyer with a one-hour photo section that’s probably at the end of it’s existence. it was developed horribly and lost a lot of detail most likely due to dirty chemicals. it’s my fault, those kids don’t know what they’re doing. I gotta learn to just pay double for high quality development.
anyway, that’s my sad rant.
here’s a dead bird without a head in the shape of a heart I saw on the street at 2 in the morning walking home a few weeks back. would’ve looked nicer if it was developed correctly. but how nice can a dead headless bird turn out, clean chemicals or not?
The other night I was up till 5 am searching the vast internet about all the information I could find involving To-Y, a rare VHS/Laserdisc-only OVA anime from 1987 about a 16 year old reluctant pop-idol rock star. I found this clip on youtube again, and couldn’t stop watching it. I briefly posted it as a status update on facebook because I was so excited about it. One person I knew was awake. I quickly gushed to him about how much I loved this clip. His response was “that is a very specific thing to love”. It took me off-guard, but it made me happy.
New Wig! Another from the Wicked brand, since I loved that other one so much. this one is a few inches shorter than the dark brown one, and it has long bangs. Long hair is so tolerable when you can take it off at any time! I want to start wearing wigs on the regular. I’m looking into wig holder displays and as soon as I have some extra money, I’m going to start investing in more wigs. I bought both for reasonable prices (under $40!) at a small but large costume shop in Redmond called A Masquerade!
Sometime soon this will appear in a photo shoot I’m doing with Andrew Waits!
I can’t Wait(s)! oh geeze, I went there.
Nearly every time I put something away in the french area at work, I come across a 1960s Bridget Bardot movie and stare at her hair for a really long time. I love big hair. I also love short hair. I love almost all hair. the 60s had a lot of great great hairstyles. probably my favorite, now that I think about it. more wigs where I can do all sorts of 60s hairs please.
on my “to get” wigs list:
light pink bob
jazz fingerwave wig (blonde or red)
shoulder length lavender
Although a lot of times I’m torn thinking that wigs are a cop out and having REAL hair doing REAL things is way better. but all these inbetween cuts are driving me nuts. I messed up my hairplan, it’s taking forever to get to the next style. and sometimes some outfits look better with certain cuts than others. so yeah, I had ACTUAL pink hair once and an ACTUAL blonde mohawk… but my style changes faster than my hair. my hair can’t keep up.
one time I toyed with shaving my head which would give me the excuse to wear wigs everyday. maybe in a few years, if I deem my skull non-lumpy or monster fetus like Britney Spears. we’ll see if I’m still brave enough or good looking enough to pull it off.
I love wigs. (reason number a million why I was born the wrong sex and should’ve been a drag queen.)